Skip to main content
Desires
-------
 She want to live peacefully,
She want to create a dream world,
She want to touch the rainbow
and spread her wing of love in whole world.
He want money and sex,
He want to live for one day,
He want to kill the emotion
and create a different world
where he is the king.
The riddle of life
never solved,
touches end
and vanishes like water bubble.

by sarojini pattayat.01/05/2013
Andy Ruffett Sorjini: I'm not sure if this was deliberate or not but I think you meant to write:

She want to live peacefully,
She wantS to create a dream world,
She wantS to touch the rainbow
and spread her wing of love in THE whole world.
He wantS money and sex,
He wantS to live for one day,
He wantS to kill the emotion
and create a different world
where he is the king.
The riddle of life
never solved,
touches end
and vanishes like A water bubble.

But on the poem itself, it's quite powerful. She wants this and he wants that, but clearly his wants are wrong. He is a controller not a giver. Clearly the is more dominating and the fact that the she has very few lines shows this. Even poem itself seems to be trying to take over her as the lines of the he just over lap on top of each other like a mound of dirt. Well done.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Story board

I am sure, you are a writer or a film maker. Your passion has the strength to discover the things in a new strategies. So, here I have brought you a technique to make your journey easy. You know your story. You have to show your feelings now to make your audience, readers understand what you want to tell them. Here the requirement of a story board is necessary. Look at your story. If you are a writer divide it in scenes.  If you are film maker divide it into shots. Draw images now .  Discuss each scene or shot with your team. It will help you to discover your weakness and rectify them in time. In present world you have to spent something in this journey to be a writer or a filmmaker. So, your little mistake may harm you and your creative journey.  People can never be hundred percent perfect. Yet, to avoid major mistake you have to be cautious. I think, story board will help you like a great friend. Be happy Be positive Yes, read a lot and write a lot Have a good d...

The chirps

 Listened the chirps of morning birds, waked up, life seemed easy... Life of a writer is not  easy. Writing is hard. Self doubts will make you cripple.  Self learning is most important.  ************** Give food to birds. They will be happy. The sun is rising up and up and on  it's journey. ***** Ideas are cunning. They always play hide and seek game.  *****  Brainstorming is difficult. 
my worries   I am a mother . My real and natural aim is to protect my children from anything unfair, mental or physical. In that ill-fated day, due to short-circuit fire consumed some part of hospital and patient died in suffocation as the hospital was enveloped with smoke. Yes, due to the brave rescue operation of the Govt. no one burnt. My children are there as fresh medical students. Now the owner of the hospital is imprisoned. Of course, hospital and the medical college is under the trust.   Still I feel worries .   1- the hospital was giving lots of services to the people. 2- why did in future people want to be the owner of such a large institution and serve? 3- Due to suffocation patient died. What prevented Govt. not to look after the safety measures of such types of institution sufficiently before. 4- What will be the fate of the all medical student, if hospital will be closed? In their curriculum practical is a most. Amid every...